Let’s Practice Being Concise (5 of 8)
Try making the following sentences more concise. The answers will be given and explained in the next post.
1.
Possessing guns is a way to fight against the government which abuses its power and uses excessive authority to rule the citizens in an unfair way. [25 words]
2.
Singapore is one of the countries in the world which has capital punishment. [13 words]
3.
Because of the enforcement of capital punishment, it will be a deterrent to most of the people who are intending to commit a crime. [24 words]
4.
Only a small portion of the money reaches poor people. For example, in many African countries, only a very small amount of funds delivered actually reaches those in need. [29 words]
5.
This service could teach life skills. In addition to this, not only life skills, but also mental training can be learnt. [21 words]
Answers to Concision 4 of 8
1.
Although people buy guns from certified stores, they can still buy guns from illegal stores as well. [17 words]
… becomes …
Guns can always be purchased illegally. [6 words]
2.
Some countries, such as Taiwan, have applied this strategy, and some of the smokers in those countries have responded to the monetary pressure, and reduced their amount of smoking. [29 words]
… becomes …
Some countries, such as Taiwan, have successfully applied this strategy. [10 words]
3.
One reason for the massacre is depressed teenagers or people who have mental illness could buy firearms more easily. [19 words]
… becomes …
One reason for the massacre is the availability of guns. [10 words]
4.
Guns being misused is very commonly seen in our daily lives. [11 words]
… becomes …
Guns are often misused. [4 words]
5.
This could be useful in the event that burglars manage to break in and illegally enter the house, or home invaders manager to enter the house illegally. [27 words]
… becomes …
This could be useful in the event of burglary or home invasion. [12 words]
By the way, go to aisielts.com to get more information and resources to help you get that IELTS 7.
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