Example Corrected Essay, Page 1.JPG

 

In the last few posts, I looked at the …

 

“This teacher is wonderful; (s)he corrects as many writings as I want” syndrome.

 

I explained how ‘correction’ of written work can be done well, or done badly, and if it is done badly, this correction can be useless – and that maybe your teacher is not as wonderful as you think. In the previous post, we began practising using error coding to correct the first paragraph of the essay – see the picture above. So, how did you go with the first paragraph? Well, here are the answers.

 

Answers

Errors

1. The allocation of government money

The example from the exercise in my book could be rewritten …

  1. Removing rubbish          = removal of rubbish
  2. Explaining to patients       = explanation to patients
  3. Regulating business        = the regulation of business
  4. Destroying the environment  = environmental destruction

2. running

3. is (this)

4. better

5. spent

 

Suggestions

1. I disagree with this, believing that the funds invested in museums and galleries are well worthwhile.

 

End of Answers

So, putting this all together, we can re-write that paragraph, and get …

 

The allocation of government money is a big issue in

running a country. Is the money better spent on public

services than museums or art galleries? I disagree, believing

that the funds invested in museums and galleries are

well worthwhile.

 

See, by correcting all the mistakes and follow two suggestions, the introduction is virtually perfect. Now, imagine how little you would learn if the teacher did all this for you (as many teachers do – ‘Oh this teacher is sooooo nice, right?’). But imagine how much the student learnt by making these corrections and changes herself. Wow!

 

In addition, imagine me up the front, running sophisticated PowerPoint Programs, and facilitating the students’ correction, helping here and there, giving a suggestion, then a class TPP (= ‘Teacher’s PowerPoint’). You don’t need to imagine it. It actually happened. The writer of this essay learnt so much.

 

That’s REAL correction. That’s REAL learning. THAT’s what happens in my classroom. You know, this exercise is so illustrative and useful that we can continue with the second paragraph – but that will be in the next post.

 

[To be continued in the next post].

 

Find the meaning of the underlined words, also repeated below.

  • virtually (adv)
  • sophisticated (adj)
  • to facilitate (v)
  • illustrative (adj)

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